You wouldn't let me in.

I realize I had lost myself. I had lost myself in someone else. I invested so much of my time, money and effort. My emotions, love and support on someone else. And I lost myself.  I lost my needs. My wants and wishes. I put my life on hold just to make sure that “our” lives were on the same path.

Planning a new life seemed fun! I mean, every little girl loves to play “house”, right? That never changes. Even when that little girl grows to become a woman, she still likes to play “house” and dream about what the future will look like.

We seemed to be on the same path in life, we wanted to go to the same places and do the same things. We discussed what our options were and weren’t. We were good at compromising and this was exciting and fun! It made everything feel so real.

I knew I had a while before any of this became a reality though, and I was ready to wait for that. I was ready to wait for you, so that you could tell me what we were doing. I was okay with that. I wanted that for us. But no one else seemed to want that for us.

“They” always had something to say.

About you.

About me.

I truly believe that misery loves company. They weren’t happy in their lives, so they ruined ours.

The sad part is, it was the people you were closest too. The people who were supposed to support and be there for you, they were the ones who started the fire in this little girl's house. A fire that would progressively get worse and worse, creating more damage in the wake of it's destruction until there was nothing left of her house but an empty shell of memories and disappointment.

I tried to put the fire out, time and time again.

"21 Days" They Say...

I don't know about you, but waking up in the morning seems to be close to impossible for me. Rolling over to the cool spot in my bed and then cuddling my fluffy body pillow in a new position just feels...so...darn...good! I can fall right back to sleep as if I had just laid my head down, every time. My biggest problem is that I'm a chronic snoozer. I'll have 17 alarms set, hours ahead of the time I actually need be awake because I know I'll just sleep right through them.


Lord be with the man I marry because he will need nerves of steel.

Even though I am more than aware that I need to get up, I still come up with 8 new excuses as to why I should tap that snooze button just one more time and try to squeeze in a few extra minutes of "sleep". An hour later, I'm even more exhausted than I was when I first woke up.

Mornings for me feel like a constant race to shower, dress, and not think twice about eating breakfast before bursting out the door! Oh, and my make-up is generally done in the car on the way to work that I'm generally 2 minutes late for, mind you. Let's not even talk about the days it snows. Utter. Chaos. The saying "You'll be late to your own funeral", was literally created for me.

Phew, if you didn't have anxiety before reading that, you probably do now! I know I'm not the only one that would love to be able to get up more easily in the mornings. So I thought I'd share some of the information I have gathered with you all, in case this applies to you as well!

Two words on how to become a morning person: 21 days.

Be Positive. Say YES

Be Positive. Say YES! 

(...if you want to improve your quality of life)

 

 

 

 

It’s easy to just say “no” when life throws you a curveball. You want to stay within your comfort zone so denying or rejecting new situations can seem like the easy way out. If you say “no” then you don’t have to change anything or do anything new and all the obstacles in your life can just simply be avoided. Which can become very mundane and monotonous.

Your life can become a lot happier, however, if you start saying “YES” more often. There are a few things that I have read about, experienced, thought about, and even implemented in my own life that have started to help me become happier every day.

I want to share with you the top 10 things that I have found helpful to living life in a more positive way so that maybe you can use them to create a little happiness in your every day life as well! Even if it’s just one of the things that I mention, if it hits home with you, try to make it a part of your life. I mean, who doesn’t like to be happy anyway!

1. Being More Optimistic. Try to be open to more things in your life. Pessimism is very limiting and can make you feel as if you have come to a dead end in life or at least to a sort of halt. It sets you up for failure. If you say yes to optimism, you will feel more likely to succeed and it will help to open your life to new possibilities.

How to accomplish this:

What Does it Mean to "Step Over That Turd"?

My father once told me, and I'll never forget it, of a conversation he had with a profound and wise young lady. They were discussing life and emotions and how everyone deals with all the trials and tribulations differently. My dads a bit of a hot head at times so they were trying to figure out some sort of resolve for that. The young lady said to him; "Imagine you're walking down the sidewalk and you come across a big turd in the middle of the path. Do you stop and pick it up and keep it with you all day? Or, do you step over that turd and leave it behind?" You don't want to smell that turd everywhere you go and neither does anyone else. So it's better to just let it go and move on, don't keep stressing about it. 


You can use that logic every day, visualize the sticky situations life throws at you as that 'turd', the ones that upset you or that you cannot control. You're not going to always see eye to eye with the people you come across in your daily life, especially the ones closest to you. Don't hold onto those feelings, the reasons or excuses to have a grudge; just let it go. Step over that turd. Whatever it may be, big or small, there's no reason to keep it with you. What you're feeling in that moment is not only going to ruin your day but it rubs off onto everyone else around you as well. Step over that turd. My father and I both remember to "step over that turd" every time we get upset or frustrated and it really has helped him regain control of situations and for me, well, I just try to live as happy-go-lucky as I can!

Pictures don't lie

Pictures don't lie, you can always see the truth if you look close enough. It's scary to think that one day it will all be for someone else. The big smiles that distorted my face in all my pictures. The excitement you see in my eyes. The body language that shows the pure desire I exulted; shoulders perked up, knees facing in, both arms around their waist, sitting as close as possible without literally climbing inside of them..looking at the person and not the camera; simply because I couldn't take my eyes off them ..I told the last one and I'll tell the next one, its always been there but the day YOU see it; it will all be for someone else. Someone who I will finally catch doing just that, for me. So I know its real.