(...if you want to improve your quality of life)
It’s easy to just say “no” when life throws you a curveball. You want to stay within your comfort zone so denying or rejecting new situations can seem like the easy way out. If you say “no” then you don’t have to change anything or do anything new and all the obstacles in your life can just simply be avoided. Which can become very mundane and monotonous.
Your life can become a lot happier, however, if you start saying “YES” more often. There are a few things that I have read about, experienced, thought about, and even implemented in my own life that have started to help me become happier every day.
I want to share with you the top 10 things that I have found helpful to living life in a more positive way so that maybe you can use them to create a little happiness in your every day life as well! Even if it’s just one of the things that I mention, if it hits home with you, try to make it a part of your life. I mean, who doesn’t like to be happy anyway!
- Being More Optimistic. Try to be open to more things in your life. Pessimism is very limiting and can make you feel as if you have come to a dead end in life or at least to a sort of halt. It sets you up for failure. If you say yes to optimism, you will feel more likely to succeed and it will help to open your life to new possibilities.
· Consider the more favorable outcome. If you come to a bump in the road, ask yourself idealistic questions and find positive solutions for them. Ask yourself questions like: “What can I learn from this?” and “What opportunities can arise from this situation?”
· Get up on the right side of the bed. Talk to someone who is supportive of you or read something positive first thing in the morning. Be it a blog, a book, a quote or talking with a close family member or friend.
- Forgiving More Often. This goes without explanation. Try not to linger on the past and the hurt it has caused/is causing you. Move on and realize that the now and future are what’s essential to your happiness. This isn't easy and will take some time and effort. However, it’s one of the most valuable attributes you can possess in life.
How to accomplish this:
· Forgive for your own personal gain or prosperity. It's said that love and hate stem from the same part of the brain. So, when you fixate on all the wrongs someone has done to you or the jealousy you have for someone, it quickly becomes an obsession. It’s hard to get rid of the emotional link you have with that person. If you can forgive them, you will eventually be able to cut those ties and forget about them. Release the grudges you have with these individuals and reclaim your own emotional freedom.
· Practice self-righteousness. Try to focus on forgiveness altogether by not only forgiving others, but by forgiving yourself as well. The more you practice forgiving others, forgiveness will become more natural. There’s no need to resent yourself for something that has happened in your life that you aren’t happy about, be it a recent decision or something that has happened years ago. Forgive and forget. Things happen, move on!
- Being Imperfect. Trying to survive in this world where we have so much media influence in our lives, it’s easy to get lost in perfectionism. I get called a perfectionist all the time, you just get wrapped up in looking and waning to be perfect in the worlds eyes. Learning and accepting your own imperfections though, can help with your happiness.
How to accomplish this:
· Realize reality vs. myth. Social media is royally known for highlighting the perfect moments in everyone’s’ lives. It sets these unattainable expectations that we all compare ourselves to. We want the lifestyle that everyone seems to have but, in reality, they don’t really have it either. Once you realize this, you can truly grow from it.
· Realize your worth. If you are constantly doubting yourself, you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Realize that what you do and how you do it is good enough. Allow that feeling of completion and worthiness to replace the need for perfection. Don't let other peoples accomplishments dictate your own.
- Things that excite you! Bring back and find the time to do the things you used to do that once excited you or brought you to life.
How to accomplish this:
· Try something new. Try a new food that you normally wouldn’t try. If you always get steak, try the chicken. Try a new activity or listen to new music. If you normally listen to a certain genre or only the top hits, try something more classical or indie rock. Music can be so uplifting and when you venture out of your comfort zone you can find new ways to channel those feelings. Expand your horizons, there’s an entire world out there that you never knew existed.
· Revisit the things that you used to love. Did you do any sports or activities when you were younger? Maybe you painted or collected things. Maybe it was a place you used to visit. Whatever it was, try it for an hour and see if it still has that same nostalgia for you.
- Learn when to say “NO”. Sometimes saying yes to everyone and everything can get exhausting. Put yourself first occasionally. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it.
How to accomplish this:
· Ask yourself what is most important to you. What do you truly want to focus your time and energy on? If someone asks you to do something or go somewhere ask yourself that question. Look at your schedule, prioritize what’s important to you, then decide.
· Neutralize then provide an omission. People will be more likely to accept your “no” if you neutralize or “disarm” them first. Do so by expressing your gratitude for the offer but explain to them your stance. Maybe you do not have the time to do so or it just doesn’t fit into your lifestyle right now.
- Take back detrimental self-talk. If you want to live a happier life, it is super important to stay motivated and keep your self-esteem up. We are our own worst critics. If you start to lose sight of your goals and ambitions, it’s easy to spin off in a downward spiral. You start to think that other people are better or prettier or have more fun than you. Being able to channel your inner critic is an amazing skill to have.
How to accomplish this:
· Literally tell yourself to “STOP”. Come up with a phrase that you can use to get your thoughts back on track. Tell yourself to “knock it off” or “shut up”. If you were to voice these thoughts, what would your best friend tell you? Tell yourself these things and bring it back.
· Remind yourself of the myths of perfection that I referenced in #3. Imagine what these thoughts are going to do to your self-esteem if you allow them to continue for extended periods of time. Remind yourself of how you feel now and imagine how you will feel in a year from now if it continues.
- Be yourself. Don’t ever change for another person. You shouldn’t have to censor yourself to make someone else happy. When you must pretend to be someone you aren’t, it can feel very limiting and constricting. You feel like you are suffocating in your own body. Change your environment if you must, surround yourself with people who want to be around you for all your quirky habits. Not what you think people are inclined to see.
How to accomplish this:
· Start with your environment. Surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and value you and your dreams. Try to avoid people who criticize you or that you do not feel 100% yourself around. You deserve to be confident and held to your true self-worth.
· Expand that past your everyday life interactions. Find things that make you happier and more excited. Focus some time out of the day for that. Social media can hinder how you act or want the world to see you. Read some articles or blogs that empower you and make you feel good about yourself.
8. Making others happy. Everyone can greatly benefit from other peoples’ happiness. Especially if you helped to establish that happiness. That moment when you see someone’s face light up, you get the gratification that you did the right thing. When someone receives a nice gesture they typically pay it forward,“do unto others as you would have them do unto you” it's more than just a proverb. Live by it and the happiness will continue to spread throughout the world.
How to accomplish this:
· Lend a hand. If a friend or acquaintance asks for assistance, do it. Whether they are in need of a ride, or help moving or even some information, show that you care by helping them or finding out the information for them.
· Listen. People need to vent occasionally, to have someone there to just listen to them so that they can figure things out. Sometimes it helps for them to just hear it themselves, even if you offer no resolve to their issue at hand. Just give them your full attention and listen.
9. Being open and growing. Growing as a person and being open to the good things in life come hand-in-hand when it comes to happiness. So, let things happen and grow with them.
How to accomplish this:
· Baby steps. Changing many things about your life at a time can easily become overwhelming. In that case, just focus on changing one thing at a time. Daily life can sometimes get in the way of these changes and cause you to lose track of your goals, so try to focus on just one bad habit or a specific area of your life before focusing on another one.
· Be modest. Try to focus on only one of the previous examples I covered this week; say no to something, try something new or old, make someone else happy, help them out, etc. It will be impossible to implement them all at once so take baby steps outside of your comfort zone, not a giant leap.
10. Living your life through and through regardless of hindrance. It can be easy to give up when you hit a roadblock in life. But, try to say yes to living your life entirely.
How to accomplish this:
· Push forward. Even if you fail or make mistakes, don’t back down or buckle under pressure. Reawaken your optimism. Turn to your outside inspiration. Get back on track and don’t let it get to your head.
· It’s never too late to make changes. Time is relative. No matter what age you are, you can still make changes in your life. There have been people younger, older, and the same age as you who have decided to make changes in their lives and all it took was the will to do it. Just remember, baby steps!
GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY LIVING!!
GOOD LUCK AND HAPPY LIVING!!
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